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Skidmark enters third day on toilet bowl


A skidmark left by an enormous human log, stretching down the back of a toilet bowl, has entered its third day unchallenged.

The residue, which was deposited as the thick rope of excrement collided with the porcelain in the early hours of Sunday morning, has seemingly been completely ignored since.

“Nobody wants to deal with it,” a household source claimed.

“It’s positioning on the bowl means that it perfectly dodges the stream of each flush, allowing it to establish itself more firmly by the hour.

“I’ve tried urinating on it, but it’s now so dried on that no amount of water pressure seems enough to blast it off and regrettably I feel like the only option left available to us is for somebody to step up and scrape it off.

“Unfortunately the culprit has refused to come forward and nobody else will tackle it out of principle.

“At this stage I can’t see a resolution to this.”

Reports that a small, but significant nugget of faeces forms part of the skidmark itself were confirmed today following a press release.

“I’m just living each day as if it’s my last,” the nugget said.

“Frankly, right now the only threat to my existence would be another, larger turd, crashing into me and absorbing me before dragging me into the water.

“Until then I’m just enjoying life, it really is a beautiful gift.”