Home World Everything just a fucking ordeal

Everything just a fucking ordeal

127
0

Nothing is ever fucking easy, according to a study.

A peer-reviewed study of all things that we ever do has concluded that whatever you do in life, it will be a massive pain in the arse.

“We took the most comprehensive and diverse survey pool ever recorded and asked them to rate how painful every task they completed was on a scale of one to ten – with almost everything registering an eight or above,” lead researcher Rose Gillett revealed.

“The type of activity that was logged in this range varied wildly, however, from starting a new career to going for a piss in the night or buttering toast.

“Basically life is a grueling slog through a sea of dog shit, punctured by fleeting moments where you experience the illusion of joy.”

The data researchers collected showed that anything worth doing required an unreasonable amount of effort.

“Things that registered lower on our stress test included being asleep and receiving oral sex, although the process of getting to the point where one could enjoy those things is in itself was something that required the most effort and ultimately was deemed not worth it in most cases,” Gillett continued.

“The main thing we can extrapolate from the data is that ultimately existence is pain.”