Home Science Moonie sightings at lowest level since records began

Moonie sightings at lowest level since records began

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Researchers have claimed that there were only six confirmed moonies spotted in the wild last year.

The number of deliberate displays of nude buttocks has fallen drastically since the 1990s, when the average Brit would be see at least one on an almost daily basis.

“It’s a very sad state of affairs to have only six recorded moonies in a calendar year,” said Rose Gillett, the academic leading the research project.

“Over the past 20 years we’ve seen this great British tradition driven from society to near extinction.

“A car journey in the 90s might yield 3 or 4 pairs of arse cheeks squashed up against a coach window in a single sighting, but today you’ll be lucky to get a sneaky one at a 5-a-side game.

“It was a golden era and sadly I think one that is going to remain in the past.”

While the numbers make grim reading, Professor Gillett was keen to give some context to the report.

“Of course there are a number of factors to why numbers have dropped, starting, of course, with how we define pulling a moonie,” she explained.

“There are strict guidelines now, that mean anything which isn’t a quick flash of cheeks only could fall into the category of a sex offence and I think a lot of them are being marked down as indecent exposure.

“Of course there have been technological advancements, meaning people can take and distribute pictures in private, as well as the obvious cultural changes across society.

“Many older people feel alienated by the lack of moonies and our surveys actually indicate that this kind of nostalgic yearning to a bygone era was a key factor in the Brexit vote.

“Perhaps if more of us had got our bums out this country would be in a better place.”