Home Technology Driverless Uber still somehow manages to sexually assault passenger

Driverless Uber still somehow manages to sexually assault passenger


A driverless taxi being tested by Uber has hit a snag in development after a test passenger filed a sexual assault complaint.

“We thought this would make us safer, but the car drove down a dark road, locked the doors and grabbed my friend’s crotch,” a source close to the victim told us.

“Luckily, he was able to wriggle his penis and testicles free, before unlocking the door and making a break for it up some stairs.

“It also took the scenic route and charged 2x surge pricing for the ordeal.”

It’s the latest in the string of controversies involving the company, but they were quick to play it down and highlight their success.

“Uber is proud to have provided millions of drunken media professionals with an affordable alternative to licensed taxis,” an Uber spokesman said.

“With our driverless cars we aim not only to improve the safety of passengers and other road users, but also to relieve our drivers of the oppressive shackles of working life.

“We are doing everything we can to ensure cases such as this are kept to a minimum and we’re proud to announce that security cameras are in the pipeline after our main priorities – Bluetooth stereo connectivity and complimentary passenger sick bags.”