Home Politics Britain’s prison inmates consider whether they will rape Carl Benjamin

Britain’s prison inmates consider whether they will rape Carl Benjamin

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Prisoners across the nation are entering discussions to decide whether or not they will rape UKIP candidate Carl Benjamin, following a police investigation into his recent comments towards Jess Phillips.

Mr Benjamin, a grown man otherwise known as Sargon of Akkad, has attracted the attention of law enforcement after saying he ‘might rape’ the Labour MP.

This has led a number of his potential future room mates to ponder a similar question.

“He’s hardly eye-candy, looking like Al from Home Improvement if he was an alcoholic whose wife had banned him from seeing their kids,” said Marlon Grainger, an inmate at HMP Leamington Spa.

“But on a slow day, if he dropped the soap, there’s an argument to be made for bumming him into oblivion just for sport.

“A few of the lads aren’t as fussy as me so he’s still likely to get passed around like a Camberwell carrot regardless, but I’d probably have to see how the mood takes me.”

Benjamin’s supporters, including UKIP leader Gerrard Batten, have previously defended his comments on rape as ‘satire’.

“When a real man talks bluntly about whether he, himself, might rape a real woman in real life, that’s classic satire,” Batten said.

“The angle is plain to see for any self-respecting connoisseur of the genre, but it’s probably too subtle for your lefty cucks.”