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Jamie Oliver accidentally bans himself


Following high-profile crusades to ban turkey twizzlers from schools, 2-for-1 pizzas and junk food adverts from TV, Jamie Oliver has accidentally banned himself from the restaurant industry.

Mr Oliver, who was also a leading figure behind the controversial sugar tax, confirmed today that his restaurant business has gone into administration after he got carried away.

“Unfortunately my latest campaign to ban crap food at extortionate prices snowballed a bit,” he said.

“I didn’t realise how important ripping people off with disgusting food was to my own business, since I haven’t personally set foot in a branch of Jamie’s Italian for over 7 years.

“It is a shame for the 1,000 people who will lost their jobs over this, but I’m sure they all be comforted by the fact that at least they will never get fat because they won’t be able to afford a can of full fat Coke on dole money.

“I look forward to opening my new chain of Jamie’s Authentic Jerk Spice Shacks soon and hope they can be a part of our next journey into cultural appropriation.”