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Britain heads to the polls to fuck shit up

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The people of Britain are marching to their local polling station with a firm conviction to completely fuck things up.

With the country in turmoil following the utterly ballsed-up EU referendum of 2016, which split the population down the middle and created a poisonous political and social atmosphere, polls have opened for the European Union Parliamentary elections.

“I can’t wait to get in there and cast my vote for whoever is the most divisive arsehole on the ballot,” retail manager Fanny Pringle said.

“I didn’t really think I’d get an opportunity to make things worse for myself on this issue, but here we are – what a time to be alive.

“I really don’t care what the outcome is as long as everyone hates each other even more at the end of it.”