Home Politics “Feel the control!” screams sweating, shirtless Mark Francois

“Feel the control!” screams sweating, shirtless Mark Francois

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Brexiteer MP Mark Francois has been pictured running through Parliament with his shirt off, screaming wildly and sweating profusely.

Francois, a member of the Conservative European Research Group who are in favour of no-deal Brexit, has behaved with increasing unpredictability in recent months, including making a cut-throat gesture at Theresa May as she spoke to Parliament.

“Unfortunately Mark has gone hard Brexit from his own fragile sanity,” a witness told us.

“He ran past me in the lobby, shrieking about all the ‘precious control’ we will get back after Brexit, rubbing his sweaty, naked torso and desperately trying to pull his trousers down.

“I watched him try to wrestle past the security guards at the door, trying to make a break for Parliament Square.

“They managed to keep him inside, but unfortunately he was then able to peel off his underpants and defecate explosively across the floor.

“As we were all led away for our own safety, I could see him flinging the excrement at anyone who came within range, calling them ‘hun bastards’ and yelling ‘fix bayonets’.

“It was actually unsettling and I hope he gets the help he needs.”