Home Politics Labour spokesman seeks to clarify ‘crystal clear’ Brexit policy for 8,294th time

Labour spokesman seeks to clarify ‘crystal clear’ Brexit policy for 8,294th time


A spokesman for the Labour Party says that their Brexit policy is absolutely clear, but again sought to clarify remarks made by MPs which many felt contradicted each other.

“Some MPs are indeed saying that we now fully support a second referendum, while others have stated that we absolutely do not, which are actually the two absolutely clear positions Jeremy has held within the past 5 days,” he said.

“I think our leader has been crystal clear on the issue – we do support a referendum if there is a chance of no-deal happening, which there isn’t, but also if a Tory deal seems likely, which it doesn’t, although even then we will only get behind it if it seems like a good proposal, even though we won’t ever be satisfied unless it’s our non-existent deal, but if we were to get a deal we wouldn’t want remain on the ballot of any referendum, which we wouldn’t support in that scenario anyway, meanwhile we must make sure all other options are considered and all possible paths to Brexit are exhausted before getting fully behind a referendum that we don’t really support and even when we do we won’t be campaigning for remain like our members want, so it will lose the referendum that’s never happening anyway and we will crash out on no-deal, meaning we can blame the Tories for the catastrophic meltdown of our country and then they people will vote in saint Jeremy Corbyn to rescue them and create a socialist utopia with improved bus services in the general election that will probably not be called actually and even if it does we will probably do as well as we have done in all the recent elections we have lost, but overall what we really want is actually a general election now, so we can build on the success of the European elections, even though we will campaign for Brexit in a general election while the Article 50 extension runs out leading to no-deal, which we categorically oppose.

“I think most voters understand that this is not rocket science.”