England football fans are ramping up their campaign of destruction before they lose their rights to travel freely across the European Union.
With Brexit due to end the free movement of people between Britain and the EU in October, it bring to an end the proud English tradition of dispatching the country’s biggest morons on a Ryanair to really get stuck in on the lagers, before smashing some shit up in a major city.
“We’re really getting our money’s worth before visas are going to be required,” football fan Eric Dangler said.
“Some of us with criminal records are likely to have visa applications rejected and realistically anything that requires filling out paperwork is going to rule out at least 70% of our travelling support.
“It looks like we probably won’t have the numbers required to form a credible riot – after all, there’s only so much patio furniture that each man can throw across a town square before getting hosed down by a massive water cannon.
“It’s going to be the end of a glorious era of pointless criminal damage on the continent, so we are just enjoying the next few away fixtures as best we can by getting tanked up and throwing bottles at police.”