Home Politics Michael Gove believes he was sold real cocaine

Michael Gove believes he was sold real cocaine


Conservative leadership contender Michael Gove believes the substance he took at social events was actually real drugs, according to reports.

He told the Daily Mail that he had taken cocaine on several occasions while working as a journalist, but he is seemingly unaware that he was obviously conned.

“There were times, as a much younger man, when I would procure drugs to take at these wicked parties that I was totally invited to by a bunch of really cool guys,” Mr Gove said.

“As ever, at such happening soirees, there would be some rather nefarious types – like an indie band or someone who went to Goldsmiths.

“Naturally the conversation would get onto drugs and somebody would inevitably offer to sell me one pill of cocaine for between £80-£150, depending on how strong it was – I later learned that you can tell the strength of cocaine tablets by how minty they taste.

“I deeply regret my actions, but I hope by sharing my experience I can educate others and hopefully the next generation can avoid going to down the same dark path that led me to the Conservative Party.”

A source who wished to remain anonymous, but who admitted to moving in the same circles as Gove, confirmed the claims.

“Yeah, it’s true, we sold him £100 Smints,” she said.

“It was pretty fucking hilarious actually. He’d swallow it and run around the party thinking he was a shaman, saying ‘oh my god, I’m so high guys, I can see the music, I am at one with nature’ and would often take his trousers off and wrap them round his head like a turban.

“We used to call him Mozam Mike because he’d always come round asking for more beak.

“Good times.”