Hundreds of men who had been jailed for horrific sex crimes were released today after citing the ‘Trump Defence’ that the victim wasn’t their type.
Despite overwhelming evidence in many instances, vast swathes of cases were thrown out with charges dropped because the victims were not to the accused’s usual tastes.
“Yes, it is correct that I was captured on CCTV and the victim had my DNA all over her, but the bottom line is that I’m more into brunettes,” released prisoner Marlon Grainger said.
“Sure, you can look at facts and so-call scientific proof, but there is simply no more solid evidence than a statement from me declaring that I don’t usually find women like her attractive.
“Everybody knows sex crimes are driven purely by how sexually desirable the victim is, so if I say I don’t fancy her then it obviously can’t have been me – it’s a watertight defence.”
Lawyers representing the previously convicted took action after President Donald Trump rebuffed another allegation of rape by insisting the accuser was not his type.
“To clarify – my client would only ever rape somebody of supermodel standard or above,” Mr Trump’s lawyer said.