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‘How about a points-based system for choosing a Prime Minister?’ Britain asks Boris Johnson


After Boris Johnson stated his interest in a points-based immigration system, Britain has asked if perhaps we could introduce something similar for appointing the leader of the entire country.

In Australia, migrants are assigned points based on a number of professional and personal characteristics, with higher points awarded for desirable traits, such as not being a total prick.

“It’s interesting that Boris would advocate a system that would see him fall short on almost every conceivable metric,” campaigner Barry Glover said.

“We actually think the Prime Minister should be chosen based on how suitable they are for the job, rather than how many angry pensioners they can give an erection to by romanticising wars they never actually fought in.

“If it’s necessary for doctors and tradespeople it’s surely essential for the person who wants to be in charge of them all.”

While Mr Johnson didn’t go into detail about which factors he’d like taken into consideration for migrants to the UK, Glover outlined his suggestions for a list of criteria for the Prime Minister’s scorecard.

“You’d have to look at their career history first, such as if they’d been fired from a newspaper for making up facts or spending £53m of public money on a bridge that doesn’t exist,” he explained.

“We could look to former friends and colleagues to give character references and I’m sure they’d be queuing up to give their views on Boris.”