After receiving a 9 month prison sentence for contempt of court, a high court judge has rounded Tommy Robinson’s jail term up to a whole year after noting his numerous sartorial offences.
Mr Robinson, whose real name is Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, appeared in court wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with the caption “CONVICTED OF JOURNALISM” and comparing Britain to North Korea, but this was not his first brush with the fashion police.
“The man is a repeat offender, having been recorded on camera numerous times in a Burton off-the-peg blazer from the spring-summer 2008 range,” Fashion Police chief Robert Stick said.
“This is often teamed up with bootcut denim jeans that are too long for him and slip on loafers from Boys Base, which I’m sure most people will agree are entirely inconsistent with modern values.”
Violent protests are expected to continue in London today, as Robinson’s supporters express their anger at his imprisonment, meaning the fashion police are expecting a busy weekend.
“We’re drafting in extra officers from across the country to deal with the influx of Lonsdale trainers into the capital,” Stick continued.
“There are reports of numerous oversized Ben Sherman short sleeved check shirts being worn in and round the city centre and we will be deploying water cannons on the ground where necessary to deal with these acts of cultural violence.
“Anyone seen besmirching the flag of St George by wearing it as a fucking cape with be taken into custody for further questioning on their life choices.”