Home Politics Boris Johnson pays tribute to Wallace and Gromit on anniversary of moon...

Boris Johnson pays tribute to Wallace and Gromit on anniversary of moon landing

135
0

Boris Johnson has praised British entrepreneurs Wallace and Gromit for being the first men on the moon, some 30 years ago, and held them up as an example of Britain making a success on its own.

Mr Johnson said that the kind of will and drive to succeed shown by the Yorkshiremen to get to the moon was exactly what the country needed today, as we face life outside the EU.

“What these great pioneers did in 1989 is a true testament to British innovation and good old fashioned hard work,” he said.

“They boldly went into space using little more than a few bits of metal bolted together in a garage and made one of the great discoveries of our time – that the moon is made of cheese.

“It is this plucky attitude, of making the most of the materials and resources available to you, that we should all be aspiring to as we exit the European Union.”

Celebrity scientist and massive nerd Professor Brian Cox has disputed some of the facts presented by Johnson, in a move that will have absolutely no effect on perceptions of the future Prime Minister whatsoever.

“I’m afraid Boris is incorrect when he says that Wallace and Gromit were the first men on the moon, not least because Gromit is clearly a fucking dog,” he said.

“Twelve Americans had walked on the moon prior to the release of the film “A Grand Day Out”, which I’m sorry to say was a fictional plasticine animation and not a documentary.

“We should all be inspired by the entrepreneurial spirit of Aardman Animations, but with a no deal Brexit, the closest we are likely to get to that is the rudimentary characters our children will have moulded from their own excrement as they beg for food in the streets.”