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Men of Britain unveil disgusting feet


Men across the country are taking advantage of the ongoing heatwave to present their horrendous feet to the public.

Sightings of sandals and flip-flops in urban areas have skyrocketed as temperatures climb well into the 30s celsius, with men proudly displaying the fungal infections they have been cultivating all year.

“It’s really liberating to feel the air between my toes as I clap around town in my Havianas,” office worker Phil Furk said.

“The cool breeze is incredibly soothing for my ingrowing toenail and the pus discharge has really died down since they’ve had some oxygen.

“Of course there’s a danger that people will step on my toes, but I’ve found that most people are really respectful and keep their distance from me.”

The trend marks a significant victory for men’s rights campaigners, who have been fighting the stigma around open-toed shoes for men.

“For centuries, men’s feet have been banished to repressive shoes, unless they are on a beach or by a swimming pool,” activist Barry Glover said.

“Open-toed footwear has hitherto been almost exclusively a female privilege – but no longer. Our fight for true equality has begun.

“We will wear sandals on the beaches and on the shores; in offices and on the tube; at your wedding or in job interviews; rain or shine – our toes will be there for all to see, we will no longer live in the shadows of the matriarchy.”