After been captured on CCTV singlehandedly fending off two men with knives, Sead Kolašinac has admitted that he would be unable to do the same against Troy Deeney.
The Arsenal footballer leapt into action to defend teammate Mesut Özil during an attempted carjacking by two unknown men carrying knives, leading many fans to ask if he might be able to demonstrate that level of commitment to defending in a red shirt next season.
“It was just instinctive to jump out and protect little Mesut from the bad men – I just did what I had to do,” Kolašinac said.
“You can’t compare this to playing the Premier League, as it was over in a few seconds rather than having to concentrate on your job for 90 minutes.
“Anyone who thinks fighting a couple of kids is scary has never had to do battle with Deeney. He was right when he said that we bottle it against him because, well, have you seen this man? He is a warrior.
“I’d also like to thank Mesut for being such a committed team player and bravely staying in the car so we were able to drive away as soon as I’d fought back the two knifemen.”
Notorious supporter Troopz, of Arsenal Fan TV fame, reacted to the attempted carjacking in a typically robust fashion with a video posted to his YouTube channel.
“Kolašinac is out here taking on two men with knives like he’s fuckin’ Liam Neeson, but put him in an Arsenal shirt and my man turns into Chunk from the Goonies blood,” he said.
“I say next season we just give man like Tom Cleverly a shank fam, then maybe our team might move about the pitch with some fuckin’ urgency.”