The government has dismissed reports that a Derbyshire dam, which is visibly breaking apart due to flooding, is any risk to the public whatsoever.
The RAF has been drafted in to help address what has been described as an ‘unprecedented emergency’, with thousands of people being evacuated after their lives were deemed to be at risk should the Toddbrook Reservoir dam break.
“This is simply project fear from people who want to talk the dam down,” an official statement read.
“We ask the good people of Whaley Bridge to ignore the pictures of the dam visibly disintegrating and simply get behind it.
“If everybody simply believed in the dam more, they would powerfully reinforce its structural integrity with pure positivity.
“Alternatively we could look to Great British engineering to build an ark, because after all if we survived the great floods on Noah’s ark, we can survive this.”
Many of the evacuated residents are understandably concerned by the sight of the dam falling apart before their eyes, with possibility of catastrophic flooding increasing by the hour.
“I would prefer it if all of my possessions were not completely destroyed in a biblical torrent of muddy water, but to be honest I think the doomsayers have overstated the consequences,” local resident Fanny Pringle said.
“Personally I believe in our town’s ability to cope with an unstoppable deluge of floodwater and with a bit of common sense and a can-do blitz spirit, we will find a way to stay dry. Bring it on, I say.”