Crazed lunatic Jeremy Corbyn has once again demonstrated why he is a threat to national security, by refusing to commit to incinerating millions of civilians in a nuclear fireball.
The unhinged Labour leader would not be drawn on whether he would be a strong enough Prime Minister to initiate a major nuclear conflict that would likely spell the end of life on earth.
“What’s the point in having a nuclear deterrent if you can’t deter your enemies by reducing a city or two to radioactive ash?” Corbyn’s election opponent Boris Johnson said.
“Anyone who wouldn’t skip gleefully to the nuclear button, eager to evaporate millions of families over a foreign policy dispute, is clearly unfit to lead this country.
“Personally I intend to sink Iceland into the sea on day one just to send a message to other nations that we are big and strong.”
It’s unclear how each leader’s stance will play among swing voters, but die-hard Tories typically like to see a leader whose bloodlust is so insatiable that they are willing to destroy the entire planet to satisfy it.
“The thought of Jeremy Corbyn not starting a nuclear war that would see my family burned alive as we cower in futile desperation under the dining table fills me with a cold dread,” Conservative voter Terence Lightfoot said.
“Obviously if we have to use them at all then it hasn’t been an effective deterrent, but at that stage we still need a proud Brit who will kick off a nuclear winter just to save face.”