Great Britain has emphatically demonstrated its readiness to go it alone in the world, by getting the Prime Minister to ask for everyone to chip in so that we can ring a big bell.
Boris Johnson appealed to patriotic Brits to ‘bung a bob for a Big Ben bong’, to raise the £500,000 required to chime the famous bell to mark the moment we leave the European Union on 31st January.
“It’s absolutely right that the iconic bongs of Big Ben should mark the historic moment when Britain regains its independence, to send a clear message to the world that we are ready to do business,” Johnson said.
“But if everyone could just give us some of their money to make it happen that would be great as we’re actually quite skint.
“Our pockets are a bit light after we spaffed £100m on a marketing campaign saying Brexit would happen on 31st October last year, so any help raising 1/20th of that amount to placate Mark Francois would be fantastic.”
Francois has led calls to have Big Ben fixed in time to ring out at 11pm on Brexit day, but some naysayers have suggested that he and other hard-line Brexiteers pay for it themselves.
“I think it’s more democratic if the British people pay for it,” Francois said.
“An £80k MP’s salary doesn’t stretch as far as people think when you have to maintain a detailed to-scale model village of the Falkland Islands, where I pretend I’m the general and recreate battles in full replica uniform.”