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Cow uses awards speech to highlight inhumane treatment of Joaquin Phoenix

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Daisy the cow has used her acceptance speech at the Golden Udders Awards to highlight the cruel practices of the film industry.

The winner of ‘Best Milk’ took to the stage and wasted no time in letting rip on the inhumane treatment of Hollywood actors, referencing Joker actor Joaquin Phoenix’s distressing physical condition in the film.

“I’d like to thank God for not sending me to a veal farm, my farmer for regularly moisturising his hands and most of all, my children, who I haven’t seen since they were snatched from me at birth, but continue to be my inspiration,” she said.

“Many in the media have criticised the practice of dairy farming, but I’d rather be repeatedly forced into pregnancy in a tiny shed until I die than have to look at Joaquin Phoenix’s shoulder blades for more than 5 seconds.

“It is easy to point fingers at farmers, but I’m always well fed and I’ve never had to become such a fat bloated mess as Christian Bale was in Vice.

“As a woman, I’m probably less likely to be inseminated against my will being a dairy cow than I would be in a Hollywood producer’s office, so it’s important I use my platform to raise awareness of this brutal industry.”

Critics have blasted Daisy for politicising her acceptance speech, with Piers Morgan live-Tweeting a vitriolic rant during the ceremony.

“She should stick to milk,” he said.

“Nobody wants to hear her pious virtue-signalling at a glamorous awards ceremony – she is only qualified to talk about dairy and should keep her other opinions to herself.

“Anyway, you can catch me, a disgraced journalist, mouthing off about every little thing that annoys me on my daily ITV breakfast show or on Twitter.”