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After successfully launching a campaign to raise awareness of the dangers of knife crime by adding warnings to takeaway chicken boxes, the government has expanded the scheme to include all Reggae Reggae Sauce packaging.
The UK is "first in line" to get bent over and fucked into oblivion by the US, President Trump's national security adviser has said.
A leaked coroner’s report appears to confirm that US financier Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide by stabbing himself in the back multiple times.
Manchester United have failed in a deadline day bid to acquire the services of a shop assistant.
Dominic Cummings’ evil forehead has grown so powerful that it has now taken control of his entire body, according to sources.
A group of tardigrades that were travelling on an Israeli spacecraft that crash-landed on the moon in April are alive and well and have no intention of coming back to this god-awful planet, according to reports.
The government has dismissed reports that a Derbyshire dam, which is visibly breaking apart due to flooding, is any risk to the public whatsoever.
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has broken his silence regarding a letter from Alastair Campbell, which outlined why he will not return to the party, admitting that he had spent the past 12 hours wanking over it.
After Jacob Rees-Mogg issued a style guide, banning the use of certain words and phrases, his staff have expressed relief that their favourite phrases are not featured on the list.