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Great Britain has emphatically demonstrated its readiness to go it alone in the world, by getting the Prime Minister to ask for everyone to chip in so that we can ring a big bell.
In an emotional interview, Health Secretary Matt Hancock has confessed that he has technically been living with two wives after convincing the first one not to leave him, thus making her a brand new additional wife.
Boris Johnson has appointed his father Stanley to head an inquiry into Islamophobia and other forms of prejudice within the Tories.
Broadcaster Andrew Neil has publicly criticised the man who made his hairpiece for refusing to defend his record in an interview.
An alternative ending to the John Lewis Christmas advert depicts the main protagonist being skinned alive to make a designer handbag, it has emerged.
Crazed lunatic Jeremy Corbyn has once again demonstrated why he is a threat to national security, by refusing to commit to incinerating millions of civilians in a nuclear fireball.
Genius political strategist Dominic Cummings has revealed that trapping his penis in the fly of his trousers is simply the next phase of his master plan to leave the EU with no deal.
Boris Johnson has stepped up his war of words with opposition MPs by unveiling his latest bus to the public, featuring the catchy slogan: Kill Remainers.
Speaker of the House of Commons John Bercow announced he would be stepping down yesterday to focus his energy on a new venture – Bercstation.