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Nigel Farage fumes after not getting customary handjob from Andrew Marr

Diva Nigel Farage threw a tantrum following a rigorous interview from Andrew Marr in which Marr didn’t give him the customary handjob and warm snuggle that he had come to expect from appearances on the show.

Britain’s prison inmates consider whether they will rape Carl Benjamin

Prisoners across the nation are entering discussions to decide whether or not they will rape UKIP candidate Carl Benjamin, following a police...

Jeremy Corbyn presses for Brexit to be decided in Sharia court

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has piled pressure on Theresa May to break the Brexit deadlock by putting the decision to a Sharia court, it has emerged.

Internet poll decides Tommy Robinson’s new alias: Stubby McBallbag

An internet poll set up to decide Stephen Yaxley-Lennon’s new alias has concluded, with the winning name announced as ‘Stubby McBallbag’.

Chris Grayling’s cleaner wearily resumes daily routine of removing excrement from...

A cleaner employed by Chris Grayling has begun the process of removing human faeces from the sink for the 500th consecutive day.
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