Monday, July 13, 2020
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Manchester United fail to agree personal terms with souvenir shop assistant

Manchester United have failed in a deadline day bid to acquire the services of a shop assistant.

Jamie Oliver accidentally bans himself

Following high-profile crusades to ban turkey twizzlers from schools, 2-for-1 pizzas and junk food adverts from TV, Jamie Oliver has accidentally banned himself from the restaurant industry.

Everyone using work showers just pretending they’re semen-free

People who use the showers at their place of work are choosing to believe that the facilities are not merely slippery, sperm-filled wank capsules, according to a study.

Richard Branson firing himself into space not as good as it...

Following Sir Richard Branson's claim that he could be launched into space within months on a Virgin Galactic flight, experts have warned that the public should not get their hopes up and that he would likely return to earth.

‘Competitive’ job salary so good it must be kept secret

A job vacancy advertised online has a salary that is so impressive that it must be kept secret at all costs.