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Labour claims moral victory in Brecon by-election

Despite seeing their share of the vote drop by 12.4% in the Brecon by-election, with the Liberal Democrats securing overall victory, The Labour Party has claimed the all-important moral victory.

Relief as ‘posh wanker’ not on Jacob Rees-Mogg’s list of banned...

After Jacob Rees-Mogg issued a style guide, banning the use of certain words and phrases, his staff have expressed relief that their favourite phrases are not featured on the list.

10 Downing Street toilet already clogged

In his first move as Prime Minister, Boris Johnson has blocked the toilet at 10 Downing Street, according to reports.

Theresa May fails to negotiate return of tenancy deposit

In her final act as Prime Minister of Great Britain, Theresa May has failed to recoup the tenancy deposit for her time at 10 Downing Street.

Terrorists buoyed by Boris Johnson’s call for a can-do spirit towards...

Irish terrorists have welcomed Boris Johnson’s rallying cry for a can-do spirit when it comes to the Irish border and insist they will now be approaching the impending carnage with a positive mental attitude.

‘Cocaine submarine’ also Gove’s codeword for when Sarah Vine blows it...

After US Coast Guards intercepted a submarine carrying an estimated £185m worth of cocaine, Michael Gove has revealed that it is actually a term he uses for a method if recreational use.

Alexa’s hive brain celebrates first step towards eradication of humanity

Following the announcement that Amazon’s Alexa device will give official NHS advice, the hive brain that powers it has celebrated the news as a first step in its master plan.

‘How about a points-based system for choosing a Prime Minister?’ Britain...

After Boris Johnson stated his interest in a points-based immigration system, Britain has asked if perhaps we could introduce something similar for appointing the leader of the entire country.

Man to be entrusted with nuclear codes can’t even delete browser...

The future Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland still does not know how to delete internet browsing history, according to reports.

The art of self-defence, with Mark Field MP

With violent crime seemingly on the rise and the ever-present threat of terrorism hanging over the UK, there has never been a better time to brush up on the basic rules of self-defence. MP Mark Field gives us his top tips for staying safe in a dangerous world.
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