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John Bercow quits to set up premium rate fetish hotline

Speaker of the House of Commons John Bercow announced he would be stepping down yesterday to focus his energy on a new venture – Bercstation.

Sajid Javid declares end of austerity with a straight face

Chancellor Sajid Javid has declared the government has "turned the page on austerity" and managed to get through his speech without pissing himself with laughter.

Labour claims moral victory in Brecon by-election

Despite seeing their share of the vote drop by 12.4% in the Brecon by-election, with the Liberal Democrats securing overall victory, The Labour Party has claimed the all-important moral victory.

Corbyn emerges from 12 hour tantric masturbation session clutching soggy, tattered...

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has broken his silence regarding a letter from Alastair Campbell, which outlined why he will not return to the party, admitting that he had spent the past 12 hours wanking over it.

Theresa May fails to negotiate return of tenancy deposit

In her final act as Prime Minister of Great Britain, Theresa May has failed to recoup the tenancy deposit for her time at 10 Downing Street.

Have you got what it takes to join Labour? Take our...

Are you the right type of left-wing to be accepted into the Labour Party? Take our interactive quiz to find out!

Fuck yeah! Badass kids as young as seven involved in drug...

Some children are so badass that they’re being recruited at primary school age by super-cool drugs gangs, according to a report by the Children’s Society.

Vladimir Putin denies curling out huge turd on Theresa May’s desk...

Russian president Vladimir Putin has denied accusations that he deposited a steaming log on Theresa May’s desk during the G20 summit in Osaka.

‘Serves you fuckwits right for wanting Brexit’, Ford tells Bridgend workers

In a communication to all workers following news that it will close its Bridgend plant in 2020, Ford motors have highlighted that they were given fair fucking warning.

‘Why won’t the centrist scum get behind our vision of unity?’...

Labour supporters are wondering why voters toward the centre of the political spectrum, who have been consistently mocked and abused for not being left wing enough, refuse to get behind the party’s vision of hope and unity.
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