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‘This is part of my plan you fools’, says Cummings as...

Genius political strategist Dominic Cummings has revealed that trapping his penis in the fly of his trousers is simply the next phase of his master plan to leave the EU with no deal.

‘Do whatever you want, I’m on holiday,’ Queen tells government

The Queen has approved Boris Johnson’s request to prorogue parliament, admitting she simply cannot be arsed to think about any of this while she’s on holiday.

Corbyn emerges from 12 hour tantric masturbation session clutching soggy, tattered...

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has broken his silence regarding a letter from Alastair Campbell, which outlined why he will not return to the party, admitting that he had spent the past 12 hours wanking over it.

Whole of Europe does wanker sign behind Brexit Party MEPs

As they turned their backs during a performance of the EU's 'Ode to Joy' anthem in European Parliament, the rest of Europe took the opportunity to make rude signs at Brexit Party MEPs.

Theresa May promises to look at Nigel Farage’s letter first thing...

After delivering a letter to 10 Downing Street outlining his vision for Brexit, Nigel Farage has revealed that Theresa May promised him she’ll look at it on Monday as she’s quite busy today.

‘Serves you fuckwits right for wanting Brexit’, Ford tells Bridgend workers

In a communication to all workers following news that it will close its Bridgend plant in 2020, Ford motors have highlighted that they were given fair fucking warning.

Donald Trump grateful for book gift from Queen and can’t wait...

President Donald Trump has expressed his gratitude to Queen Elizabeth II for her gift of a first-edition copy of Churchill’s World War II book and says he can’t wait to get home and start colouring it in.

‘Surely you’d prefer it if we focused on dementia?’ scientists ask...

Responding to Ann Widdecombe’s comment that one day ‘science might find an answer’ for homosexuality, scientists have asked her if she might perhaps be more keen for them to find a cure for dementia instead.

Disgusting! This military veteran pensioner had milkshake thrown at him by...

In shocking scenes, a 61-year-old war veteran was attacked by militant lefties armed with milkshakes.

“Feel the control!” screams sweating, shirtless Mark Francois

Brexiteer MP Mark Francois has been pictured running through Parliament with his shirt off, screaming wildly and sweating profusely.
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