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Government adds polo, hunting and ‘the rugger’ to list of approved...

Following advice that playing golf and tennis would now be allowed under lockdown, the government has gone even further and opened up a number of additional posh activities.

Deputy PM Raab gets to work after being given fake ‘UK...

Acting Prime Minister Dominic Raab says he is getting down to the serious job of running the country by diligently pressing buttons on what he believes are the controls to the United Kingdom.

Alexa’s hive brain celebrates first step towards eradication of humanity

Following the announcement that Amazon’s Alexa device will give official NHS advice, the hive brain that powers it has celebrated the news as a first step in its master plan.

Jeremy Hunt promises tax breaks for possessed mannequins

In a last ditch bid to be selected in the final two candidates for leadership of the Conservative Party, Jeremy Hunt has appealed to his base with a pledge to implement drastic tax cuts for shop mannequins that have been possessed by an evil spirit.

Abortion ‘OK’ if carried out by lone gunman in a school,...

The Republican Party have clarified their stance on late term abortion, stating that women can still have a termination as long as it is by an indiscriminate hail of bullets in a classroom.
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