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Someone you’ve never heard of appointed Lib Dem leader

A person you have never heard of and wouldn’t remotely recognise if you saw them has been appointed leader of the Liberal Democrats.

‘How about a points-based system for choosing a Prime Minister?’ Britain...

After Boris Johnson stated his interest in a points-based immigration system, Britain has asked if perhaps we could introduce something similar for appointing the leader of the entire country.

Man to be entrusted with nuclear codes can’t even delete browser...

The future Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland still does not know how to delete internet browsing history, according to reports.

Jeremy Hunt promises tax breaks for possessed mannequins

In a last ditch bid to be selected in the final two candidates for leadership of the Conservative Party, Jeremy Hunt has appealed to his base with a pledge to implement drastic tax cuts for shop mannequins that have been possessed by an evil spirit.

Boris Johnson unveils pledge to help those struggling on just £50k

In a bid to win support for his campaign to become leader of the Conservative Party, Boris Johnson has pledged a tax cut for people who are struggling to make ends meet with as little as £50,000-per-year.

Michael Gove believes he was sold real cocaine

Conservative leadership contender Michael Gove believes the substance he took at social events was actually real drugs, according to reports.

Rory Stewart MP’s guide to getting absolutely smacked off your tits

Conservative leadership contender Rory Stewart MP has been criticised for openly admitting that he smoked opium while travelling in Iran and by talking about his own experiences with opiates, he hopes to open up the discussion around safer drug use.

Last remaining Conservative MP admits defeat and enters leadership contest

Marcus Bottletop, the only sitting Conservative MP who was yet to announce they are running for leader, has bowed to peer-pressure, according to reports.

Boris Johnson to appear in court to face unprecedented free publicity

Tory leadership hopeful Boris Johnson will be summonsed to court so he can receive an enormous amount of free publicity, according to reports.

Boris Johnson confirms bid for Titanic captaincy

Conservative MP Boris Johnson has announced plans to throw his hat into the ring for the chance to become captain of the RMS Titanic, according to his spokesman.
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