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Independent inquiry into Tory Islamophobia to be led by Stanley Johnson

Boris Johnson has appointed his father Stanley to head an inquiry into Islamophobia and other forms of prejudice within the Tories.

Perverted Brits demand 5 more years of pain

The United Kingdom has emphatically demanded five additional years of delicious pain.

Johnson cuts to the chase and crashes ‘Kill Remainers’ bus into...

Boris Johnson has stepped up his war of words with opposition MPs by unveiling his latest bus to the public, featuring the catchy slogan: Kill Remainers.

REVEALED: Jeffrey Epstein died after stabbing himself in the back 34...

A leaked coroner’s report appears to confirm that US financier Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide by stabbing himself in the back multiple times.

Tardigrades crash-landed on the moon so they don’t have to come...

A group of tardigrades that were travelling on an Israeli spacecraft that crash-landed on the moon in April are alive and well and have no intention of coming back to this god-awful planet, according to reports.

Labour claims moral victory in Brecon by-election

Despite seeing their share of the vote drop by 12.4% in the Brecon by-election, with the Liberal Democrats securing overall victory, The Labour Party has claimed the all-important moral victory.

Corbyn emerges from 12 hour tantric masturbation session clutching soggy, tattered...

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has broken his silence regarding a letter from Alastair Campbell, which outlined why he will not return to the party, admitting that he had spent the past 12 hours wanking over it.

Relief as ‘posh wanker’ not on Jacob Rees-Mogg’s list of banned...

After Jacob Rees-Mogg issued a style guide, banning the use of certain words and phrases, his staff have expressed relief that their favourite phrases are not featured on the list.

10 Downing Street toilet already clogged

In his first move as Prime Minister, Boris Johnson has blocked the toilet at 10 Downing Street, according to reports.

Theresa May fails to negotiate return of tenancy deposit

In her final act as Prime Minister of Great Britain, Theresa May has failed to recoup the tenancy deposit for her time at 10 Downing Street.
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