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Triumphant Cummings defeats himself at 3D chess

In a strategic and tactical masterclass, super-genius Dominic Cummings has defeated himself in a high stakes game of 3D chess.

Deputy PM Raab gets to work after being given fake ‘UK...

Acting Prime Minister Dominic Raab says he is getting down to the serious job of running the country by diligently pressing buttons on what he believes are the controls to the United Kingdom.

Cow uses awards speech to highlight inhumane treatment of Joaquin Phoenix

Daisy the cow has used her acceptance speech at the Golden Udders Awards to highlight the cruel practices of the film industry.

REVEALED: Why the government has banned NewsLoad from their press briefings

Number 10 responds to the press lobby walkout.

Matt Hancock admits polygamy after convincing wife not to leave

In an emotional interview, Health Secretary Matt Hancock has confessed that he has technically been living with two wives after convincing the first one not to leave him, thus making her a brand new additional wife.

Perverted Brits demand 5 more years of pain

The United Kingdom has emphatically demanded five additional years of delicious pain.

Andrew Neil challenges his toupee supplier to face tough questions

Broadcaster Andrew Neil has publicly criticised the man who made his hairpiece for refusing to defend his record in an interview.

Dangerous madman Corbyn unwilling to initiate nuclear holocaust

Crazed lunatic Jeremy Corbyn has once again demonstrated why he is a threat to national security, by refusing to commit to incinerating millions of civilians in a nuclear fireball.

‘This is part of my plan you fools’, says Cummings as...

Genius political strategist Dominic Cummings has revealed that trapping his penis in the fly of his trousers is simply the next phase of his master plan to leave the EU with no deal.

Sajid Javid declares end of austerity with a straight face

Chancellor Sajid Javid has declared the government has "turned the page on austerity" and managed to get through his speech without pissing himself with laughter.
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