Monday, July 13, 2020
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Matt Hancock admits polygamy after convincing wife not to leave

In an emotional interview, Health Secretary Matt Hancock has confessed that he has technically been living with two wives after convincing the first one not to leave him, thus making her a brand new additional wife.

Independent inquiry into Tory Islamophobia to be led by Stanley Johnson

Boris Johnson has appointed his father Stanley to head an inquiry into Islamophobia and other forms of prejudice within the Tories.

10 Downing Street toilet already clogged

In his first move as Prime Minister, Boris Johnson has blocked the toilet at 10 Downing Street, according to reports.

Theresa May fails to negotiate return of tenancy deposit

In her final act as Prime Minister of Great Britain, Theresa May has failed to recoup the tenancy deposit for her time at 10 Downing Street.

Man to be entrusted with nuclear codes can’t even delete browser...

The future Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland still does not know how to delete internet browsing history, according to reports.

Rory Stewart MP’s guide to getting absolutely smacked off your tits

Conservative leadership contender Rory Stewart MP has been criticised for openly admitting that he smoked opium while travelling in Iran and by talking about his own experiences with opiates, he hopes to open up the discussion around safer drug use.

Boris Johnson to appear in court to face unprecedented free publicity

Tory leadership hopeful Boris Johnson will be summonsed to court so he can receive an enormous amount of free publicity, according to reports.

Boris Johnson confirms bid for Titanic captaincy

Conservative MP Boris Johnson has announced plans to throw his hat into the ring for the chance to become captain of the RMS Titanic, according to his spokesman.