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Crazed lunatic Jeremy Corbyn has once again demonstrated why he is a threat to national security, by refusing to commit to incinerating millions of civilians in a nuclear fireball.
Genius political strategist Dominic Cummings has revealed that trapping his penis in the fly of his trousers is simply the next phase of his master plan to leave the EU with no deal.
Chancellor Sajid Javid has declared the government has "turned the page on austerity" and managed to get through his speech without pissing himself with laughter.
Former Prime Minister Tony Blair has intervened in the heated Brexit debate, making a really helpful speech that has totally calmed everyone down.
Dominic Cummings’ evil forehead has grown so powerful that it has now taken control of his entire body, according to sources.
A person you have never heard of and wouldn’t remotely recognise if you saw them has been appointed leader of the Liberal Democrats.