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REVEALED: The 4 luxury items Tommy Robinson will take into prison...

After being sentenced for 9 months in prison for contempt of court, Tommy Robinson has revealed the 4 essentials he’ll be stuffing into his anus to take with him.

‘If you were actually a slave, you’d have been euthanised by...

Following her claim that the British people are slaves to the European Union, officials have responded by stating that if she were their slave they would have had her shot by now.

Yellow vest protester found guilty of being a massive virgin

Self-styled “yellow vest” protester James Goddard has been found guilty of being a total virgin.

Boris Johnson unveils pledge to help those struggling on just £50k

In a bid to win support for his campaign to become leader of the Conservative Party, Boris Johnson has pledged a tax cut for people who are struggling to make ends meet with as little as £50,000-per-year.

‘Serves you fuckwits right for wanting Brexit’, Ford tells Bridgend workers

In a communication to all workers following news that it will close its Bridgend plant in 2020, Ford motors have highlighted that they were given fair fucking warning.

‘Surely you’d prefer it if we focused on dementia?’ scientists ask...

Responding to Ann Widdecombe’s comment that one day ‘science might find an answer’ for homosexuality, scientists have asked her if she might perhaps be more keen for them to find a cure for dementia instead.

‘Why won’t the centrist scum get behind our vision of unity?’...

Labour supporters are wondering why voters toward the centre of the political spectrum, who have been consistently mocked and abused for not being left wing enough, refuse to get behind the party’s vision of hope and unity.

Labour spokesman seeks to clarify ‘crystal clear’ Brexit policy for 8,294th...

A spokesman for the Labour Party says that their Brexit policy is absolutely clear, but again sought to clarify remarks made by MPs which many felt contradicted each other.

Boris Johnson to appear in court to face unprecedented free publicity

Tory leadership hopeful Boris Johnson will be summonsed to court so he can receive an enormous amount of free publicity, according to reports.

Theresa May looking forward to taking off ill-fitting human suit

After announcing her resignation from office, Prime Minister Theresa May has confided in friends that she is eager to finally take off the human suit she’s been wearing for over 60 years.
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