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Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has broken his silence regarding a letter from Alastair Campbell, which outlined why he will not return to the party, admitting that he had spent the past 12 hours wanking over it.
After US Coast Guards intercepted a submarine carrying an estimated £185m worth of cocaine, Michael Gove has revealed that it is actually a term he uses for a method if recreational use.
Following her claim that the British people are slaves to the European Union, officials have responded by stating that if she were their slave they would have had her shot by now.
Russian president Vladimir Putin has denied accusations that he deposited a steaming log on Theresa May’s desk during the G20 summit in Osaka.
After Boris Johnson stated his interest in a points-based immigration system, Britain has asked if perhaps we could introduce something similar for appointing the leader of the entire country.
Self-styled “yellow vest” protester James Goddard has been found guilty of being a total virgin.
The future Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland still does not know how to delete internet browsing history, according to reports.
In a last ditch bid to be selected in the final two candidates for leadership of the Conservative Party, Jeremy Hunt has appealed to his base with a pledge to implement drastic tax cuts for shop mannequins that have been possessed by an evil spirit.
In a bid to win support for his campaign to become leader of the Conservative Party, Boris Johnson has pledged a tax cut for people who are struggling to make ends meet with as little as £50,000-per-year.
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